March 8th

Today not much happened. We worked on the yard for a few today. Then I went and had a me day. I went and got my nails done. I have not done that in so long so it was nice. Then i went to target and got hair color so i colored my hair.

This is a b4 pic

This is after not much of a diff just a little darker.

The kids have kinda been a hand full today. They keep fighting i know they are bored i let them play outside for a few. How ever it started raining today so when they fight this is what i do lol.

They hate when i do that lol. I make them hold hands and say they are sorry and they love each other lol. It works they hate it lol. Well i better get going i have laundry and dinner dishes to do plus i have to give both kids a bath. Then spend some time with hubby! Hope u all had a good weekend i know i did!!!!

Best day ever...

yes that would have been yesterday one of the best days in my life! We had so much fun! The day started out by getting up and having pancakes for breakfast. Then got Steph dressed and took her to gymnastics where she has almost got her back walk over all by her self! Then i went and picked her up and we went to a late lunch/early dinner with my dad his gf cindy her dd and her bf and his dd and then cindys mom sis and bil for nick, cindy and bil's bdays. It was a good place but not much to choose from. Well when we left there i told Nick lets go to the park its a beautiful day! He said okay and took us to a park that we have never been to! We had a really really fun time! I took over 160 pics ill only post a few of my favs.


















So after we got done playing at the park we took the kids over to dq for ice cream again. We had such a good day! The kids did not fight with each other Nick was not yelling at them for this and that. We just had a great day! When we got home i got a phone call from my friend carrie. So we went over to carries and had dinner and let the kids play while Nick and her hubby scott put some stuff together that they got for kenzies room. We then cut shawns hair in a mohawk! He looks so cute.

My poor big boy...

I hate when my big boy gets sick. Its the hardest thing for a mother to see/know her child is sick. But its even harder when ur child is sick all the time. Shawn has suffered ear infections since he was 1 week old. He is 5 years old and to date he has had 40 ear infections now. I just had to take him to urgent care cause i thought he had the flu that the girl i baby sit has. But need less to say thank god its not the flu how ever he does have 2 double ear infections in each ear. My poor son has been though so much. He has had 3 sets of tubes his adnoids and tonsils removed. I hate that this keeps happening i dont know what else to do other then tubes. He has had so many ear infections that he does not feel them anymore. I had no clue that he had them today. He says it does not hurt. The nurse asked him does anything hurt he said my belly. She said does it hurt to pee? He said i dont know "Shawn how do u not know if it hurts when you pee pee honey" I have not peed today mommy (this was at 6 30 pm) So if he has not peed as of tomorrow at 12 pm then i have to take him to er. I got him so berry gatoraid and some freezer pops to see if i can get some liquids in him. I hope hes feeling better soon. I have to call the ent on monday and get him back in to see about putting tubes back in. The right one is still in how ever the left one fell out a few months ago. Im not looking forward to this. I hate when my children are sick its so hard to see them.

March 5th

I so had a good day today! I did not have to baby sit at all. So i got to sleep in this morning untill almost 10. Then i got Shawn ready for school and ment up with Joy,Amy,Kat,Astrid at the mall. We had lunch then went window shopping in a few stores. It was alot of fun! Then i came home and my dads gf came over and hung out untill my dad got here and then we took the kids to get ice cream!







After we got done with ice cream we took Steph and Shawn to the skating rink and let them do a skate party for Stephs school! They had a lot of fun. They both fell a few times Stephanie really hurt her finger but she says its better now! Near the end they both were doing so good and having so much fun. I think we might go back this weekend!

Then Stephanie spoted her crush Adam and i got a pic of her and him together how cute are they!

I am now....

A mommy to a registered kindergartner. It makes me sad to know my last baby is going to kindergarten. Where o where did the time go? We are hoping for all day K but we will see if he makes it. I find out i belive march 19th if he makes it if not then its another year of 1/2 days. He so bad wants to go full day hes been doing 1/2 days for 3 years. Hes ready to be a big kid lol (as he puts it). Me how ever im happy cause my baby is doing so well and hes growing up. But at the same time i cant help but be sad cause this is the last time ill do the preschool thing. Its another giant stop in to him becoming a boy then a man :( So now we just play the waiting game. If he makes it in its 230 dollars a month crazy for a public school but hey got to do what i got to do. How ever since we get 1/2 price lunch his fee will be 1/2 price to so 115 dollars a month is not bad at all. I have to pay the first month by march 30th if he makes it in. So keep ur fingers crossed that he makes it. If not o well just another year of 1/2 day then in 1st grade he will go all day thats not to long right lol. I cant belive tomorrow is thurs already.


I have not baby sat all this week cause the kids are sick and now so is the mother. So unless they all start getting better i might be off all this week and next week. I wish there was a way for her to be able to work and me and the kids not get sick. But i dont see that happening. She pays me weather the kids are here or not how ever i feel bad cause shes a single parent but hey i have a job to and i did not ask to be off right? Well next week ill be off all week to cause shes taking her vac time but i told her if she needs to go in and make up some hours let me know and ill watch them but the babys father is coming up so she is taking off so he can spend time with her. so i guess i get 2 weeks payed time off.

I dont know whats going on with steph the past few weeks but my gosh shes driving me crazy. Shes talking back all the time. Today she had her ptc and i went and her teacher said shes doing so good im so proud of her. But then when it got time to leave and go home she threw a fit. Yes my 7 year old big girl was walking down the hall almost in tears cause she did not want to go home she wanted to play on the playground. I told her it was to cold so she said she wanted to show Shawn the library. So we went in they were having a book fair. I gave steph $15 for books on monday and she sat in the middle of the library crying cause i would not buy her more books. Are u for real Stephanie come on babe crying cause i would not buy her more books. There are kids in her school that did not get any at all. I just lost one of my baby sitting jobs im trying to save up money to go to fl in july. And here is my 7 year old big girl crying again cause i would not buy her more books. So what do u think she did to me.... thats right not talked to me for almost an hr. I had to sit down and tell her that shes acting spoiled and that i just gave her $15 to get books and i just dont have it to give to her right now. I love her to death and i love the fact that she reads and wanted more books but i just dont have it. I said ill tell u what u have $6 dollars at home ill buy u a book but u have to give me the money when we get back home. She said "but mommy thats my money" go figure right its okay to spend my money but my goodness she would have to spend her money to get something she wants grrrrrrrr i love my child.


Well im bout to get off and snuggle with my hubby and watch tv b4 going to bed so i better get off here. Hope u all have a good rest of the week!

Do u ever just....

get that feeling like ur a crappy person. Like no matter what u do or what u say ur just never good enough. Im only 1 person and i dont think anyone understands that. Im trying to be 25 different people and i can only be me. I cant be the best mommy, wife,caregiver,maid,cook,driver,friend,sister,daughter,babysitter,teacher and sometimes father all at the same time. 1 person can only do so much i feel like i have so much to do in 1 day and if i cant get it all done im such a bad person. If i just want to take 20 min out of my busy busy busy day to just do me. I cant always pick up a phone and call someone. I cant always clean the house if im trying to run and do things for others. I sometimes dont always have the time to sit down and read someones blog and post a comment to it. I cant sometimes look at everyones pics and comment every single one. I cant always sit on my but and cuddle when i know the dishes need done. I cant take a child outside and ride a bike when i know i need to help another learn something. I cant just stop what ever im doing to drive to a bestfriends house that i miss so much cause i have to get a child to school. I cant be near the phone every time my hubby calls and wants to talk just cause hes not doing anything at that moment when i have to get a child ready for school or i have to change another childs butt. Or i have to switch out laundry or clean up his mess. I cant always be there every time someone has a problem, or just needs to talk to someone and yell at them cause they have no one else to yell at. I try to do all these things i really do. But i always seem to upset someone some how. I know some people think that being a sahm means that u have nothing but time. That your house should always be clean no matter what. That i should have to be a maid to my whole family cause its cheaper for me to stay home. That if Nick makes a mess i should have to be the one that cleans it cause he works so hard to make sure i stay home. But i have enough to deal with then playing his maid. Hes a almost 28 year old man. If he sees he split something he should clean it up. I think i should get a little bit of time to get on my computer and just catch up with my online friends and see how they are doing or how there weekend went. I cant seem to do that with out getting yelled at. I cant seem to skip 1 day of clean my house cause i spent a weekend out of town and 7 plus hrs in a car to have to get up and go run and pick up his meds when the last thing i want to do is be in a car. He claims he missed me so much that he cant even stay awake at night and cuddle with me and watch tv yet when i was not here he stayed up till butt crack of dawn every night. I all the time am taking care of kids making sure they do home work put them to bed every night make sure they get a bath and i just wanted 15 min to myself to post and catch up that my kids were 45 min late for bed cause he could not brush their teeth and make sure they got pjs on for just 1 night. Im so sick of having to do it all. Im so sick of hearing him say u got a job baby i think i should have to help u more and ill do this and this and this to help u out only to be giving broken promises. I sometimes just feel like im so sick of my life and im sick of trying to be the person everyone wants me to be. I just for once want to be me. I want to be the person that can sleep and not catch hell from every one cause i sleep in the morning and cant get their call because i cant sleep the night b4. Or the person that can just sit on the couch watching her fav tv show that i have seen 100 times already and not have to get up and break up a fight my kids are having. I want to be the person that can drive 25 min to her friends house and hang out for a few hrs with out having to get a child on the bus. I want to feel like a great mom and not a failure cause my son sleeps in a pull up every night when everyone around me that has kids his age or younger sleeps in underware. Im tired of feeling guilty for not remembering much about my son when he was little cause i was so depressed and just blocked it out. I dont want to be the mom that her child gets fussed out and starts crying cause for the last week thats all i did was fuss at her for 1 thing or another. But i cant change who i am cause everyone expects so much out of me and cant understand i am only 1 person.
That i cant always be the mother,wife,bestfriend,sister,daughter,miad,cook,driver,the babysiter,teacher and sometimes father all at the same time. I can only be Heather and u have to take me as i am i mess up i dont mean to, I yell and i dont mean to, I cant always drop what ever im doing to be there im sorry. Im sorry for all of those close to me that i have let down and disapointed i try but i just cant always do it.