March 8th

Today not much happened. We worked on the yard for a few today. Then I went and had a me day. I went and got my nails done. I have not done that in so long so it was nice. Then i went to target and got hair color so i colored my hair.

This is a b4 pic

This is after not much of a diff just a little darker.

The kids have kinda been a hand full today. They keep fighting i know they are bored i let them play outside for a few. How ever it started raining today so when they fight this is what i do lol.

They hate when i do that lol. I make them hold hands and say they are sorry and they love each other lol. It works they hate it lol. Well i better get going i have laundry and dinner dishes to do plus i have to give both kids a bath. Then spend some time with hubby! Hope u all had a good weekend i know i did!!!!

Best day ever...

yes that would have been yesterday one of the best days in my life! We had so much fun! The day started out by getting up and having pancakes for breakfast. Then got Steph dressed and took her to gymnastics where she has almost got her back walk over all by her self! Then i went and picked her up and we went to a late lunch/early dinner with my dad his gf cindy her dd and her bf and his dd and then cindys mom sis and bil for nick, cindy and bil's bdays. It was a good place but not much to choose from. Well when we left there i told Nick lets go to the park its a beautiful day! He said okay and took us to a park that we have never been to! We had a really really fun time! I took over 160 pics ill only post a few of my favs.


















So after we got done playing at the park we took the kids over to dq for ice cream again. We had such a good day! The kids did not fight with each other Nick was not yelling at them for this and that. We just had a great day! When we got home i got a phone call from my friend carrie. So we went over to carries and had dinner and let the kids play while Nick and her hubby scott put some stuff together that they got for kenzies room. We then cut shawns hair in a mohawk! He looks so cute.

My poor big boy...

I hate when my big boy gets sick. Its the hardest thing for a mother to see/know her child is sick. But its even harder when ur child is sick all the time. Shawn has suffered ear infections since he was 1 week old. He is 5 years old and to date he has had 40 ear infections now. I just had to take him to urgent care cause i thought he had the flu that the girl i baby sit has. But need less to say thank god its not the flu how ever he does have 2 double ear infections in each ear. My poor son has been though so much. He has had 3 sets of tubes his adnoids and tonsils removed. I hate that this keeps happening i dont know what else to do other then tubes. He has had so many ear infections that he does not feel them anymore. I had no clue that he had them today. He says it does not hurt. The nurse asked him does anything hurt he said my belly. She said does it hurt to pee? He said i dont know "Shawn how do u not know if it hurts when you pee pee honey" I have not peed today mommy (this was at 6 30 pm) So if he has not peed as of tomorrow at 12 pm then i have to take him to er. I got him so berry gatoraid and some freezer pops to see if i can get some liquids in him. I hope hes feeling better soon. I have to call the ent on monday and get him back in to see about putting tubes back in. The right one is still in how ever the left one fell out a few months ago. Im not looking forward to this. I hate when my children are sick its so hard to see them.

March 5th

I so had a good day today! I did not have to baby sit at all. So i got to sleep in this morning untill almost 10. Then i got Shawn ready for school and ment up with Joy,Amy,Kat,Astrid at the mall. We had lunch then went window shopping in a few stores. It was alot of fun! Then i came home and my dads gf came over and hung out untill my dad got here and then we took the kids to get ice cream!







After we got done with ice cream we took Steph and Shawn to the skating rink and let them do a skate party for Stephs school! They had a lot of fun. They both fell a few times Stephanie really hurt her finger but she says its better now! Near the end they both were doing so good and having so much fun. I think we might go back this weekend!

Then Stephanie spoted her crush Adam and i got a pic of her and him together how cute are they!

I am now....

A mommy to a registered kindergartner. It makes me sad to know my last baby is going to kindergarten. Where o where did the time go? We are hoping for all day K but we will see if he makes it. I find out i belive march 19th if he makes it if not then its another year of 1/2 days. He so bad wants to go full day hes been doing 1/2 days for 3 years. Hes ready to be a big kid lol (as he puts it). Me how ever im happy cause my baby is doing so well and hes growing up. But at the same time i cant help but be sad cause this is the last time ill do the preschool thing. Its another giant stop in to him becoming a boy then a man :( So now we just play the waiting game. If he makes it in its 230 dollars a month crazy for a public school but hey got to do what i got to do. How ever since we get 1/2 price lunch his fee will be 1/2 price to so 115 dollars a month is not bad at all. I have to pay the first month by march 30th if he makes it in. So keep ur fingers crossed that he makes it. If not o well just another year of 1/2 day then in 1st grade he will go all day thats not to long right lol. I cant belive tomorrow is thurs already.


I have not baby sat all this week cause the kids are sick and now so is the mother. So unless they all start getting better i might be off all this week and next week. I wish there was a way for her to be able to work and me and the kids not get sick. But i dont see that happening. She pays me weather the kids are here or not how ever i feel bad cause shes a single parent but hey i have a job to and i did not ask to be off right? Well next week ill be off all week to cause shes taking her vac time but i told her if she needs to go in and make up some hours let me know and ill watch them but the babys father is coming up so she is taking off so he can spend time with her. so i guess i get 2 weeks payed time off.

I dont know whats going on with steph the past few weeks but my gosh shes driving me crazy. Shes talking back all the time. Today she had her ptc and i went and her teacher said shes doing so good im so proud of her. But then when it got time to leave and go home she threw a fit. Yes my 7 year old big girl was walking down the hall almost in tears cause she did not want to go home she wanted to play on the playground. I told her it was to cold so she said she wanted to show Shawn the library. So we went in they were having a book fair. I gave steph $15 for books on monday and she sat in the middle of the library crying cause i would not buy her more books. Are u for real Stephanie come on babe crying cause i would not buy her more books. There are kids in her school that did not get any at all. I just lost one of my baby sitting jobs im trying to save up money to go to fl in july. And here is my 7 year old big girl crying again cause i would not buy her more books. So what do u think she did to me.... thats right not talked to me for almost an hr. I had to sit down and tell her that shes acting spoiled and that i just gave her $15 to get books and i just dont have it to give to her right now. I love her to death and i love the fact that she reads and wanted more books but i just dont have it. I said ill tell u what u have $6 dollars at home ill buy u a book but u have to give me the money when we get back home. She said "but mommy thats my money" go figure right its okay to spend my money but my goodness she would have to spend her money to get something she wants grrrrrrrr i love my child.


Well im bout to get off and snuggle with my hubby and watch tv b4 going to bed so i better get off here. Hope u all have a good rest of the week!

Do u ever just....

get that feeling like ur a crappy person. Like no matter what u do or what u say ur just never good enough. Im only 1 person and i dont think anyone understands that. Im trying to be 25 different people and i can only be me. I cant be the best mommy, wife,caregiver,maid,cook,driver,friend,sister,daughter,babysitter,teacher and sometimes father all at the same time. 1 person can only do so much i feel like i have so much to do in 1 day and if i cant get it all done im such a bad person. If i just want to take 20 min out of my busy busy busy day to just do me. I cant always pick up a phone and call someone. I cant always clean the house if im trying to run and do things for others. I sometimes dont always have the time to sit down and read someones blog and post a comment to it. I cant sometimes look at everyones pics and comment every single one. I cant always sit on my but and cuddle when i know the dishes need done. I cant take a child outside and ride a bike when i know i need to help another learn something. I cant just stop what ever im doing to drive to a bestfriends house that i miss so much cause i have to get a child to school. I cant be near the phone every time my hubby calls and wants to talk just cause hes not doing anything at that moment when i have to get a child ready for school or i have to change another childs butt. Or i have to switch out laundry or clean up his mess. I cant always be there every time someone has a problem, or just needs to talk to someone and yell at them cause they have no one else to yell at. I try to do all these things i really do. But i always seem to upset someone some how. I know some people think that being a sahm means that u have nothing but time. That your house should always be clean no matter what. That i should have to be a maid to my whole family cause its cheaper for me to stay home. That if Nick makes a mess i should have to be the one that cleans it cause he works so hard to make sure i stay home. But i have enough to deal with then playing his maid. Hes a almost 28 year old man. If he sees he split something he should clean it up. I think i should get a little bit of time to get on my computer and just catch up with my online friends and see how they are doing or how there weekend went. I cant seem to do that with out getting yelled at. I cant seem to skip 1 day of clean my house cause i spent a weekend out of town and 7 plus hrs in a car to have to get up and go run and pick up his meds when the last thing i want to do is be in a car. He claims he missed me so much that he cant even stay awake at night and cuddle with me and watch tv yet when i was not here he stayed up till butt crack of dawn every night. I all the time am taking care of kids making sure they do home work put them to bed every night make sure they get a bath and i just wanted 15 min to myself to post and catch up that my kids were 45 min late for bed cause he could not brush their teeth and make sure they got pjs on for just 1 night. Im so sick of having to do it all. Im so sick of hearing him say u got a job baby i think i should have to help u more and ill do this and this and this to help u out only to be giving broken promises. I sometimes just feel like im so sick of my life and im sick of trying to be the person everyone wants me to be. I just for once want to be me. I want to be the person that can sleep and not catch hell from every one cause i sleep in the morning and cant get their call because i cant sleep the night b4. Or the person that can just sit on the couch watching her fav tv show that i have seen 100 times already and not have to get up and break up a fight my kids are having. I want to be the person that can drive 25 min to her friends house and hang out for a few hrs with out having to get a child on the bus. I want to feel like a great mom and not a failure cause my son sleeps in a pull up every night when everyone around me that has kids his age or younger sleeps in underware. Im tired of feeling guilty for not remembering much about my son when he was little cause i was so depressed and just blocked it out. I dont want to be the mom that her child gets fussed out and starts crying cause for the last week thats all i did was fuss at her for 1 thing or another. But i cant change who i am cause everyone expects so much out of me and cant understand i am only 1 person.
That i cant always be the mother,wife,bestfriend,sister,daughter,miad,cook,driver,the babysiter,teacher and sometimes father all at the same time. I can only be Heather and u have to take me as i am i mess up i dont mean to, I yell and i dont mean to, I cant always drop what ever im doing to be there im sorry. Im sorry for all of those close to me that i have let down and disapointed i try but i just cant always do it.

Wednesday...

Today was a crazy day. The girl i baby sit was really fussy all day no matter what i did she was not happy. Then the Kim the mom of the boy i sit for told me to make sure i pack up all his stuff tomorrow. I thought that was a little weird so i asked her will he be here on Monday? She said im not sure im going to talk to Lucas about it but its not making since for me to work during the day anymore cause im not making any money it goes to u and gas so i think im just going to get a night job so lucas can stay home with D. So i think to self wow it would have been nice for more then a few days notice right? So i think D is gone which means i can start going out again and dont have to worry how im going to get to go out with 5 kids and only 4 seats!



I ended up talking to Stephanie about what was going on. She said she just is feeling left out and wanted a mommy/Stephanie date so i took her to shichi! Its our favorite place to eat at! We had alot of fun. She even was using chop sticks she thought she was the coolest person in the world there. It was alot of fun. We then went over to mcdonalds where daddy and Shawn were so we played for a few there and then we came home and got kids ready for bed.
















Im getting really excited just a few more days now till i leave for TN to go meet the twins! Joy and i are going to have so much fun. I cant belive i have not even started packing yet lol I know what ill be doing tomorrow. Shes already packed and ready to go. Were planing on leaving after we get the older ones off to school. Its a 6 1/2 hr drive what am i going to do for 6 1/2 hrs in the car with Miss Joy u ask? Well we get to chat the whole time. Play catch up cause we have not got to spend much time together lately. She said by time we get there and hang out all weekend and get back ill be sick of her. I dont think that could ever happen. You have to understand Joy she is the best person i know. She is always there for everyone no matter what shes doing she will stop at the drop of a dime to help someone in need. I know this first hand Shawn was a really sick baby growing up he had alot of ear infections (that will be another story for a later time its tolate tonight) and she was always there for me when i was at my wits end and just felt like i could not go on anymore. She was always there to help me up when i was down and still is. She is the bestest friend a girl could ever ask for and she does not really know how much i love her and am glad shes in my life! Well nick feel asleep on the couch i better get off here and switch out laundry and wake him up so we can go to bed night all!

Just a vent...

I just need to get some stuff off my mind for a few. I had a fight with my sister today. I love her to death dont get me wrong but i cant stand her sometimes. I think shes rude and nasty and mean to everyone. She only does for her self and does not care who she hurts it the mean time. My father stopped smoking a year ago last month. I threw him a surprize party and my sister was supposed to be there. She was going to bring 2 liters of pop well guess who never showed up. So then last night my dad called her and asked her if she wanted to go to dinner she said she had to work till 7 but if she got off she would be there well she called me at 4 so i knew she was off. Guess who never showed up or called yeah thats right Lori. So i called her she went to dinner with our mom cause she asked her. So she stood him up AGAIN! So today she called and asked if i wanted to come over for dinner she was going to call and ask dad if he wanted to come (first time he would see her house in a year and only lives 15 min away) i said "dad would really like that i bet it would make his day hes been a little upset that u keep blowing him off" What did that brat do she hung up on me. I called her back and said rather then hanging up on people why dont u try to talk ur feelings out. She started yelling at me saying we never ask her to go away where with us and were always together and it makes her upset that we dont include her every time we do something. I said lori grow up u do it all the time u and mom always go out and no one ever calls and asks me if i want to go. She said were not going to go there. She thinks i dont care cause my mom and i are not close. I do care it hurts me alot i love my mom and i hate that i feel like my mom thinks of me as a nobody. She does not care bout my feelings she does not want anything to do with my son. She calls and asks to take steph and not Shawn it hurts it hurts alot. But its something that has been going on since i was little i guess i just learned to stop saying anything about it cause it gets me no where. Why deal with it right. So not only is my sister mad at me now shes prolly mad at my dad and i feel bad i feel like i should have kept my mouth shut but im tired of her treating him that way. Hes a good person he made some mistakes in his life no one is human and he fixed it! He has tried so hard to be back in her life and she pushes him away. How ever i bet if her car breaks down she will be really quick to call him and ask for help. How ever she wont come out and ask for help she will suck up and call and ask him to come over and want to spend time with him then its o dad my car needs fixed, my breaks are bad i need a oil change..... Thats the type of person she is. She gets mad cause shes a single parent she made her self that way she is the one that treated jc like crap not that hes perfect he messed up to but she treats everyone bad. o well tired of dweling on something i cant change if u made it this far thanks for listening to me. I just really needed to get that off my chest!


Hugs everyone!

Hello everyone

Hey everyone! I hope u all had a great weekend! We finally finished doing shawns room! Here are some pics! I think it turned out great. We still have to add the shelves and get his coat rack thing hung up!

I had a really nice weekend. Shawn and i went to dinner with my dad last night while Stephanie stayed home with daddy and her friend Madison and her sister Emy! We then went to church with my dad to a choir thing it was really nice. There were 7 different church choirs there to sing it was nice. Other then that not much went on this weekend. Im ready for this coming weekend. My sil/bff are driving to Tn to meet our new twin Nephews! I am so excited to meet them. Ill have some pics to post when we get back. Its about 6 1/2 hr drive there were leaving friday around 10ish i think. We will then drive back sunday morning. Im not sure whats going on with Stephanie lately. Shes not acting like her self she seems to be sad all the time she did not want to play with Maddison yesterday she just does not seem like her self. She did not want to go to church yesterday. I dont know if shes just getting cabin fever and its making her sad or what but all she wants to do is sleep or watch tv. I asked her if there was something wrong she said no shes just tired. I think i might see if she wants to have a date with mommy one night this week maybe go to dinner and see a movie get her out of the house for a few. Shes normaly a really happy little girl but the last week shes just dragging by and not listening i dont know if its her age or what. Nick yelled at her for something and she just ran off crying and when i went to talk to her she said daddy hurt her feelings. I tried to tell her that i understand daddy hurt her feeling but when she does not listen and cant follow rules then thats what happeneds. Im going to try to talk to her again and see if she tells me something different. Well i better get going and get shawn ready for school and lay D down for a nap and get some more cleaning done. Have a good day all!

Saturday...

Hello everyone! Today was a busy busy busy day. Stephanie had a friend stay the night last night. We got up and went to breakfast with my mom. Then i went to old navy to switch out a pair of jeans i got for her a few days ago, took her to gymnastics then over to her friends house to stay the night. We went and got Shawns paints for his room came home and painted his room! It looks good ill post some pics when its all done and put back together! I had to baby sit tonight these kids are good kids but not when ur trying to get stuff done lol. We also put Stephanies name on her wall as well. I cant wait till i get all their rooms done and put back together! Then i want to work on getting the rest of the house painted! I have alot of stuff to do tomorrow as well. We have church then i have to come home and clean o yeah and i baby sit again tomorrow. Then ill finish up the kids rooms put shawns back together and get Stephanies room cleaned up really good. Then were going to dinner with my dad his friend and my aunt and uncle then we have a music thing at the church tomorrow night. Well im going to get these kids in bed and head to bed my self! Night guys!